tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1261310934303568962024-02-19T03:27:18.570-08:00Our healing journeyThe lives of Rachel and Andreas SimonThe New Simonshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04047152574363664826noreply@blogger.comBlogger192125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-126131093430356896.post-51874073052169656732011-06-12T20:44:00.000-07:002011-06-12T20:44:57.440-07:00Shiloh Bear<div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">A big thank you to the wonderful angel mamas at </span></span><a href="https://www.mollybears.com/TheMollyBearStory.php"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">Molly Bears</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">. I finally got my Shiloh Bear last month after having waited for over a year. She weighs exactly what Shiloh weighed when she was born- 6lbs, 5 oz. Feeling her weight in my arms again brought me to tears. No surprise there. When I had Shalom, I thought I was going to be so distracted that I wouldn't have time to cry and to think about all the things that I was missing out on with Shiloh. How wrong I was. I find myself crying quite a bit lately (it's gotten easier to push the pain away, so I haven't allowed myself to cry as much over the last 2 years) and of course, I still think about her constantly. There isn't a day that goes by where she isn't in some small way, incorporated into my thoughts or 'functions'. Is it possible to miss her even more? I hadn't thought so until now...</span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;"><br />
</span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">I love this photo of Shalom sleeping with her hand on Shiloh Bear. I just wish it were the real thing.</span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAIj7UwsNHzIGkNGGJgZX6ChWPP_onr2lbwfdYyXUV-Xv6DRjzoWyEFmrnabzKoUA3Lm6MO0gBbsuS-YrwdfJk3Sn4bXy4SSmuGUNP3GV1eE4wmcEJ-JZcl4Vme49Bs-jI1tTVZQKq-co/s1600/Shiloh+bear.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAIj7UwsNHzIGkNGGJgZX6ChWPP_onr2lbwfdYyXUV-Xv6DRjzoWyEFmrnabzKoUA3Lm6MO0gBbsuS-YrwdfJk3Sn4bXy4SSmuGUNP3GV1eE4wmcEJ-JZcl4Vme49Bs-jI1tTVZQKq-co/s400/Shiloh+bear.JPG" style="cursor: move;" width="300" /></span></span></a></div><div><br />
</div>The New Simonshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04047152574363664826noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-126131093430356896.post-19901025415080177112011-05-01T20:47:00.000-07:002011-05-01T20:49:59.656-07:00International Babylost Mother's Day<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjawmuMS7cmkyHKXql9H39_uOoHNkQa7AojYrotfmkxOxA2PfvL8ydnptKK-1f1fJRCEciaixApW-SPR4qbJeohpUeoBVBmyyIy_QUmdDIE_oe2reiY75-tPATSW5PHKoUl9B2DRsHqWMub/s1600/Flower_Mother.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="309" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjawmuMS7cmkyHKXql9H39_uOoHNkQa7AojYrotfmkxOxA2PfvL8ydnptKK-1f1fJRCEciaixApW-SPR4qbJeohpUeoBVBmyyIy_QUmdDIE_oe2reiY75-tPATSW5PHKoUl9B2DRsHqWMub/s320/Flower_Mother.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">Everyone knows that May 8, 2011 is Mother's Day. But did you know that May 1, 2011 is International Babylost Mother's Day? This day is to recognize women all over the world that have lost children as mothers. This is a day for remembrance."United in grief, we find love and strength." Please repost to show support.</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">♥For Shiloh Jayden, my exquisite angel, born sleeping on 10.28.08♥</span></span></span></div>The New Simonshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04047152574363664826noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-126131093430356896.post-64503479144893683782011-02-26T19:06:00.000-08:002011-02-26T19:06:55.744-08:00Little Pink Surfboard<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7wcX1spO_MI2as5h1KR2cgklpk6dI5ZHrzqgEz-aTI-GRlbnT0L6pRxiDP3qnKJhihh24MR1J019hetokdIUiHUUGn2ETjSh29066ioaj8NYpM6tgYOwIFX4BSDeiai5xWWStb39gZW3v/s1600/Shi%2527s+pink+surfboard.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="162" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7wcX1spO_MI2as5h1KR2cgklpk6dI5ZHrzqgEz-aTI-GRlbnT0L6pRxiDP3qnKJhihh24MR1J019hetokdIUiHUUGn2ETjSh29066ioaj8NYpM6tgYOwIFX4BSDeiai5xWWStb39gZW3v/s400/Shi%2527s+pink+surfboard.jpeg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: 17px;">Sunlight dances like ballerinas</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">Off the facets of the sea </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">The breeze blows salt crystals</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">Which play through your long hair</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">Leave your footprints behind</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">On this smooth, white sand beach</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">The sea calls for you</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">Slice through those endless waves</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">On your little pink surfboard</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;"><br />
</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">*I wrote this poem, and had this little pink surfboard with Shiloh's name handmade for my husband, Andreas, for Valentine's Day this year. When I was pregnant with Shiloh, Andreas became an avid surfer and constantly talked about how he wanted to buy Shi a little pink surfboard when she was born so that they could go surfing together. He still thinks and talks about it, and probably will for the rest of our lives. As much as I wish I could bring Shi back, I can't give him the real thing, so I gave him the next best thing. When we move into a bigger place, we're going to have a dedicated area for all things Shiloh, and this board will hang over her photos and other memorabilia.</span></span></div>The New Simonshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04047152574363664826noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-126131093430356896.post-64892508473713988132011-02-01T17:06:00.000-08:002011-02-01T17:07:04.854-08:00Big sister<div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;">Things have been crazy around the Simon residence lately (for the obvious reasons!) and I feel like I haven't really and truly been able to dedicate time to my angel baby Shi and to thank her (and my dad) for this wonderful gift she's given us. </span></span></span></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;"><br />
</span></span> </span></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;">I know you have watched, and continue to watch, so carefully over your little sister, Shi, and I feel so grateful to have your strong presence in this way, especially if I can't have you here on earth with me. You are so, so missed, as much as, or even more than (if that's possible!) the day we found out your heart no longer beat with mine. Know that you are talked about every single day. Know that you will continue to live on through not only me, daddy and other people's lives you've touched, but also through your little sister and all of your future siblings. Shalom will know exactly who you are, and she will know just how much you mean to us. She will know that her safe arrival was guided by the hands of her big sister and her grandpa. And she will celebrate your brief, but meaningful life, everyday, just as we do. </span></span></span></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;"><br />
</span></span> </span></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;">We love you so much, Shi. Nobody will ever replace you or the immense love we feel for you. You are forever our first child, our exquisite angel.</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 18px;"> </span></span></span></div></div>The New Simonshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04047152574363664826noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-126131093430356896.post-60392487238987391512011-01-04T19:39:00.000-08:002011-01-04T19:39:11.618-08:00My loves<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgHhyphenhypheno7Yqncf-CnTD28r9ieMFPBFFC7ML7uteYZZxARF8l971r33gNa7SsyEKXpPzXdgyG649Fd3n8JTYh0OqsBvjScEsnQ1ZLx8sIXrUAm24Gvdz0BKn4HV6T7Di_rIjxo6zzY8qd3FmC/s1600/Smiley.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgHhyphenhypheno7Yqncf-CnTD28r9ieMFPBFFC7ML7uteYZZxARF8l971r33gNa7SsyEKXpPzXdgyG649Fd3n8JTYh0OqsBvjScEsnQ1ZLx8sIXrUAm24Gvdz0BKn4HV6T7Di_rIjxo6zzY8qd3FmC/s320/Smiley.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">This says it all. I wish her big sis Shi were here to smile along with her. My beautiful daughters...</span></span></div>The New Simonshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04047152574363664826noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-126131093430356896.post-84125857114001586282010-11-15T21:22:00.000-08:002010-11-15T21:22:01.231-08:00Likeness<div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">Shalom is starting to open her eyes more frequently. She is so gorgeous. </span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2N1m5-9abWPSbjG6fSDaZLW4feQDbe_Bhzw9rpYZ6EhkevhizIHY9Ywj4oLjVWyCvM_g13FC6jhxaYAUIyotQIjCo6Gp4Ye7iXfhV7ZBP7kjrYQpekAMiMEfYD3FyEeJMp7V7-VyYK2yt/s1600/11.14.10.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2N1m5-9abWPSbjG6fSDaZLW4feQDbe_Bhzw9rpYZ6EhkevhizIHY9Ywj4oLjVWyCvM_g13FC6jhxaYAUIyotQIjCo6Gp4Ye7iXfhV7ZBP7kjrYQpekAMiMEfYD3FyEeJMp7V7-VyYK2yt/s400/11.14.10.JPG" width="308" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: 17px;">But, I can't get over the fact that Shalom is the spitting image of her big sister, Shiloh. The resemblance is uncanny. I love that every time I look at Shally, I also think of Shi.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkdZmLNzdY1yl5GlREEmkmWDSs3Lku3e89I7n-26MKy4XDTfMchffbrtRUoZdtLW6zIWbofBYaSovlDay7J9Qe9O1vT9g42U_ziunoYQD5mKVlpBdeqIyfE7_AD8n0v7BE4qw4u6yyXzlH/s1600/Shiloh+%2526+Shalom.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="250" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkdZmLNzdY1yl5GlREEmkmWDSs3Lku3e89I7n-26MKy4XDTfMchffbrtRUoZdtLW6zIWbofBYaSovlDay7J9Qe9O1vT9g42U_ziunoYQD5mKVlpBdeqIyfE7_AD8n0v7BE4qw4u6yyXzlH/s400/Shiloh+%2526+Shalom.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div>The New Simonshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04047152574363664826noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-126131093430356896.post-43679828090850693932010-11-10T20:21:00.000-08:002010-11-12T09:21:19.079-08:00Baby Shalom<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj92QhhAUGn3DrDP5AfBhSO90Q_Ea3TqBLthwe3H2vsbRn45DSg7TMRSJnNc_VMgnMdMgVcJJlhZyPJBvHHfPnzqYonlSY_Uge2xj3_pbKuQ43OCt35Clrw-AGdTCPD8LTv-cwl6gBdiOIV/s1600/IMG_0857.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj92QhhAUGn3DrDP5AfBhSO90Q_Ea3TqBLthwe3H2vsbRn45DSg7TMRSJnNc_VMgnMdMgVcJJlhZyPJBvHHfPnzqYonlSY_Uge2xj3_pbKuQ43OCt35Clrw-AGdTCPD8LTv-cwl6gBdiOIV/s400/IMG_0857.JPG" width="297" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Papyrus; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #569a9a;">Andreas and I are delighted to announce the safe arrival of Shiloh's baby sister</span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Herculanum;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 36px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #ff67ce;">Shalom Eve Simon</span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Papyrus;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Papyrus;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #569a9a;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">November 7, 2010 at 6.36 pm</span></span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Papyrus;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #569a9a;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">5 pounds, 3 ounces</span></span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Papyrus;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #569a9a;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">18.5 inches long</span></span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Papyrus;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #569a9a;">Shalom was born prematurely at 35 weeks, 2 days due to low fluid levels. </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #569a9a; font-family: Papyrus; font-size: 17px;">She currently resides in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit with minor </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #569a9a; font-family: Papyrus; font-size: 17px;">respiration issues (due to prematurity), but we hope to bring her home </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #569a9a; font-family: Papyrus; font-size: 17px;">by the end of next week.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #569a9a; font-family: Papyrus; font-size: 17px;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #569a9a;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #555555;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">Shalom (שָׁלוֹם)- a Hebrew word meaning peace, completeness, health, prosperity, and welfare, or safety of an individual. It encapsulates a reality and hope of wholeness for the individual.</span></span></span></span></div>The New Simonshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04047152574363664826noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-126131093430356896.post-5179120079414261332010-11-03T11:21:00.000-07:002010-11-03T11:22:28.367-07:00Modern Dog Magazine Photo Contest<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWX0_Gt41DuKPrDefK-3XJjhJdZ5maJZmHP41rMzq_0KheegrivDakUwzUslmUj0nkpqh-ObVlNM_zA7Nlv0RF4ZFXnH8ne2cEmv_OvsFOlfLBscZJO-MW4JtjRqDONj7Zg7Z1Q-At3IsW/s1600/Bear+07.09.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWX0_Gt41DuKPrDefK-3XJjhJdZ5maJZmHP41rMzq_0KheegrivDakUwzUslmUj0nkpqh-ObVlNM_zA7Nlv0RF4ZFXnH8ne2cEmv_OvsFOlfLBscZJO-MW4JtjRqDONj7Zg7Z1Q-At3IsW/s400/Bear+07.09.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">Please vote for our care Bear -</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;"><a href="http://www.moderndogmagazine.com/photocontest/dogs/10/11/03/bear">here</a>-</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">. He deserves some recognition for being our savior/Shiloh Bear!</span></span></div>The New Simonshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04047152574363664826noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-126131093430356896.post-76643571231760980292010-10-28T19:12:00.000-07:002010-10-30T19:13:47.029-07:00Shiloh's 2nd Birthday<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyuZeJm_ouA5xdbVjJR1LjBfpE5a047GbTSG_i_5KsZnKhRKqib_8-upBCjJz5WcOvj7RStvQ9C6Ly1_YIcjUP_Nlmpe2XmevnJz-c0VE4ZDlE4iZkODEP2dAw5Ysrrq__uHuuaWHK3cef/s1600/Shi's+2nd+bday_10.28.10.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="250" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyuZeJm_ouA5xdbVjJR1LjBfpE5a047GbTSG_i_5KsZnKhRKqib_8-upBCjJz5WcOvj7RStvQ9C6Ly1_YIcjUP_Nlmpe2XmevnJz-c0VE4ZDlE4iZkODEP2dAw5Ysrrq__uHuuaWHK3cef/s400/Shi's+2nd+bday_10.28.10.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal 'Skia Light'; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia;">Andreas celebrated Shi’s 2</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia;">nd</span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia;"> birthday in a speccy Barcelona park</span></span><br />
<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia;"><br />
</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: 17px;">This day has come so swiftly</span><br />
<span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia;"><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">Snuck up on me once again<br />
Everyday you’re gone, an eternity</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">Yet it feels like just yesterday</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">I wish you were here with me, Shiloh </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">To blow out these two pink candles</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">And fill my heart with love, not sadness</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">To be on earth, instead of just my angel</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">I love you sweet baby</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">Happy second birthday </span></span></div></span></span></div>The New Simonshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04047152574363664826noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-126131093430356896.post-66149641262630958082010-10-25T12:19:00.000-07:002010-10-25T12:21:57.944-07:00I couldn't resist...<div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">Look at that smile!</span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_0XlphHrcJuDRuaD5wzIMxsc3SIs9QKOAUqqIfMN7d-vn1A7H06ljULhHjfMi_RlKvHsAminS-yXnaTkbmdp65Igoevq0Zemhvj2VnaK01yUq_FJNxjLfloNyVI3ItPFJ4aVHvcXPO59J/s1600/photo-4.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="302" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_0XlphHrcJuDRuaD5wzIMxsc3SIs9QKOAUqqIfMN7d-vn1A7H06ljULhHjfMi_RlKvHsAminS-yXnaTkbmdp65Igoevq0Zemhvj2VnaK01yUq_FJNxjLfloNyVI3ItPFJ4aVHvcXPO59J/s320/photo-4.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">Oh... and she's totally got my Jew nose (check out that bump)! Craziness! </span></span></div>The New Simonshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04047152574363664826noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-126131093430356896.post-66570374312212122162010-10-23T11:24:00.000-07:002010-10-23T11:24:33.365-07:00The Bad, the Good and the Inevitable<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;"><b>THE BAD:</b> </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">First Betamethasone (steroid) shot at 2pm yesterday (to speed up fetal lung maturity in case of preterm delivery) = slight decrease in fetal movement and fetal heart rate = me scared shitless and annoyed that I was not informed of this earlier = me frantically researching it last night = waking up every two hours to see if she is still alive = humungous headache this morning, but thankfully, a live, active baby.</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;"></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: 17px;">Second Betamethasone shot at 2pm today = anxiety = another sleepless night</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;"><br />
</span></span><br />
<u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">Side note:</span></span></u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;"> I think we need to invest in one of those $3000 Tempur-pedic mattresses so my poor, <a href="http://www.drandreassimon.com/">hardworking husband</a> can get some sleep. Ya know, the ones in the commercial where you can jump up and down on the bed with a full glass of wine sitting on the other side?! So, when I'm up at 12, 2, 4, 6 and 8 am shaking my belly, he shouldn't feel a thing, right?</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;"><br />
</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;"><b>THE GOOD:</b> </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">From 32 weeks onwards, the baby should have heart rate accelerations to 15 beats above resting heart rate, for 15 seconds, every 20 minutes or so to show that she is "reactive" (this concept is still a bit of a conundrum to me. Isn't she reactive if I poke my belly and she moves? I guess it's more of a reactive heart rate thing though since heart rate doesn't always increase if she moves.). Anyway, she was uncharacteristically sleepy as I was doing my monitoring yesterday (thank you, steroid shot...), so I told Andreas to come talk to her. The minute he started talking, her heart rate shot up from 145 to 170! Isn't it incredible that she not only recognizes her daddy's voice, but that she responds with an increased heart rate! C'est complètement incroyable! </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;"><br />
</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;"><b>THE INEVITABLE:</b> </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">I miss Shiloh profoundly. I wish she were here to experience this all with us (not all of the drama, of course. If she were here, there wouldn't be any drama!). Especially because people are constantly asking if I have other children, how old they are and what sex they are. I <i>always</i> say that I have a daughter, that she'd be almost 2. People never pick up on the past tense though. It's just as well. I always end up crying and running away if I have to talk about her not being here.</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: 17px;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;"></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: 17px;">I'm in awe of the fact that I'll be celebrating her 2nd birthday- alone (sniff, sniff)- in just 5 days. It feels like an eternity without her, but it also feels like she was born just yesterday. Time is so strange. In reference to the bizarreness of time, I found this quote that resonated with me: "The flower that you hold in your hands was born today and already it is as old as you are." -Antonio Porchia, <i>Voces</i> 1943. It hits home.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;"><br />
</span></span>The New Simonshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04047152574363664826noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-126131093430356896.post-17546092202091632542010-10-19T10:04:00.000-07:002010-10-19T10:08:11.081-07:00Xavier's Fridge Friends<div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">Michelle Swords at </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;"><a href="http://fridgefriends.blogspot.com/">Hangin' with Xavier on the Fridge</a> took these cool photos of Shiloh's name in fridge magnets. All part of what I call my <a href="http://www.thenewsimons.com/Site/Artistic_Grief.html">artistic grief therapy</a>. What a fantastic idea. I love them! </span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgC0PYjLP1vstigprgiavyo3mAkwi9zrutHbpJJ2R-hi3zQbByG7qD_qaS9McXEDMZCT94o5MDb3ZkvyhQd8o2KKbny8LEQsWqnLLjBGC8Y29FVLWtIJELjcIZGX_g9CEccnXLQ9fHtzx__/s1600/Shi+collage.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="250" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgC0PYjLP1vstigprgiavyo3mAkwi9zrutHbpJJ2R-hi3zQbByG7qD_qaS9McXEDMZCT94o5MDb3ZkvyhQd8o2KKbny8LEQsWqnLLjBGC8Y29FVLWtIJELjcIZGX_g9CEccnXLQ9fHtzx__/s400/Shi+collage.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: 17px;">If you'd like to have your angel's name done, send her an <a href="mailto:xaviersfridgefriends@gmail.com">email</a>.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;"><br />
</span></span></div>The New Simonshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04047152574363664826noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-126131093430356896.post-7195698009184636932010-10-17T00:07:00.000-07:002010-10-28T09:29:31.097-07:00Shiloh's Candles- Infant Loss Remembrance Day Collage<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4rQQFksJ_JD78WZ-WQamTykmsaT7ws5ZJKkl0c2T6QNfGuS3ndAuZ5NExg61-lrkX2ItM3s7hSQzBFv9Us5pe93tDTj07Tr-a_hShAJPqaRmF8iD9zLPt8yR0tSdzlPoLADcRL54KDdBv/s1600/10.15.2010.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="250" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4rQQFksJ_JD78WZ-WQamTykmsaT7ws5ZJKkl0c2T6QNfGuS3ndAuZ5NExg61-lrkX2ItM3s7hSQzBFv9Us5pe93tDTj07Tr-a_hShAJPqaRmF8iD9zLPt8yR0tSdzlPoLADcRL54KDdBv/s400/10.15.2010.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: 17px;">Here's the collage of all the candles lit in memory of sweet Shiloh (and too many other angel babies) for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day (Oct 15th). The week of Oct 15 is to remember all babies born sleeping, those we have carried but never met, those we have held but could not take home, and those that came home, but didn't stay. </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">Thank you to everyone who remembered to light a candle and take a photo of it! I absolutely love having these constant reminders that Shi has touched so many peoples' lives.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">This year, I received candle photos from all over California (SD, SB, LA, SF, Berkeley, Monterey), Utah, Ohio, </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: 17px;">Alabama, New York, Hawaii, </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: 17px;">Australia, The Netherlands and Germany. I</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: 18px;">f you still have a photo that you haven't emailed to me, please feel free to do so- I will add it into the collage!</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: 17px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">And, if you'd like to check out last year's collage, please click <a href="http://thenewsimons.blogspot.com/2009/10/candles-for-shiloh.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;">here</span></a>.</span></span></div>The New Simonshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04047152574363664826noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-126131093430356896.post-17600272818259287532010-10-16T01:01:00.000-07:002010-10-16T01:03:11.246-07:00Shi's baby sister<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBeGe8qqV9zmKJNbbfbZsnJpHtTk95pHBnNwfumkx_yMqEwdkfI__ElJ1Fvlwx742NAu0d5ZqmxkkF9WbKrzAL6GX2L1rOYLlP1PTG140ivf1Z8vDJ32Wt3Rua_xvaPpa5BdrNBF3TYqgE/s1600/32+wks.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="250" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBeGe8qqV9zmKJNbbfbZsnJpHtTk95pHBnNwfumkx_yMqEwdkfI__ElJ1Fvlwx742NAu0d5ZqmxkkF9WbKrzAL6GX2L1rOYLlP1PTG140ivf1Z8vDJ32Wt3Rua_xvaPpa5BdrNBF3TYqgE/s400/32+wks.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: 17px;">Shi's baby sister is definitely a face toucher. Her hand was in front of her face the entire hour we were at <a href="http://www.myfirstpeekaboo.com/">My First Peekaboo</a> trying to get some good 4D shots, despite my calisthenics, constant rolling from left to right and the tech's belly tapping! What a cheeky baby. She's so perfect with her chubby cheeks and her button nose. Ooooh, I just wanna eat her up! I hope to meet her real soon- healthy and alive (I have to keep saying it so it comes true- it's all about the <a href="http://thenewsimons.blogspot.com/2010/10/break-from-all-negativity.html">chi</a>.).</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: 17px;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: 17px;">Also of ironic interest- the ultrasound tech recognized Andreas and me because she had visited <a href="http://www.thenewsimons.com/">Shi's website</a> ages ago and was so touched by it/our story/our bravery etc. She left us a comment and wrote us a letter (but apparently never sent it!). I'm elated that Shi's left a mark on so many peoples' lives. It's so bittersweet though, and never fails to bring tears to my eyes, in addition to a smile on my face.</span></div>The New Simonshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04047152574363664826noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-126131093430356896.post-62944273731325857752010-10-15T16:30:00.000-07:002010-10-15T16:30:14.250-07:00Oct 15th- Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNixe0eMt8yjrreOfDMbCscuA9SOy78Ncr71uWViAqo_8Z2AOMMAgREzMEXBxKtXNb8GyZtmwPKznVqhA8kqb1r3mxU7pYcQ7jUyY6-hi2hCmsHUFK0_bhRiIqNtavVHBXe_3wfuvTFwbr/s1600/Shiloh_small+bw.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="209" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNixe0eMt8yjrreOfDMbCscuA9SOy78Ncr71uWViAqo_8Z2AOMMAgREzMEXBxKtXNb8GyZtmwPKznVqhA8kqb1r3mxU7pYcQ7jUyY6-hi2hCmsHUFK0_bhRiIqNtavVHBXe_3wfuvTFwbr/s320/Shiloh_small+bw.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #47494b;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">Dearest Friends and Family,</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #47494b;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">Today, Oct 15th, is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day and we are missing our Shiloh intensely. Please join me and Andreas and light a candle tonight from 7-8 pm, in memory of Shiloh and all of the other angel babies. Our sweet angel Shiloh was only with us for 9 months, but she touches our lives everyday, inspiring us to love more deeply, live more gratefully and cherish every moment.</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #47494b;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">I would love if everyone could take a photo of the candle they have lit and send it to me for my Infant Loss Remembrance collage.</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #47494b;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;"><br />
</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #47494b;"></span></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #47494b; font-family: Skia;"><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: black; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #47494b;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">If you'd like to check out last year's collage please visit: </span></span><a href="http://www.thenewsimons.com/Site/Whispers_to_our_Angel_Blog/Entries/2009/10/16_Candles_for_Shiloh.html"><span style="color: #2350ab;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">http://www.thenewsimons.com/Site/Whispers_to_our_Angel_Blog/Entries/2009/10/16_Candles_for_Shiloh.html</span></span></span></a></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: black; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: black; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: black; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #47494b;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">Love to you all,</span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: black; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;"><span style="color: #47494b;"></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #47494b;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">Rachel</span></span></span></div></span> <!--EndFragment-->The New Simonshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04047152574363664826noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-126131093430356896.post-16916669624680092442010-10-13T11:05:00.000-07:002010-10-13T11:06:46.394-07:00Broken<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: 17px;">I feel so broken inside</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: Skia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">Torn into miniscule pieces <o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;"><span style="font-family: Skia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">By the lack of your solidity<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;"><span style="font-family: Skia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">The barrenness of my arms<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: .5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-add-space: auto;"><span style="font-family: Skia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">Nothing erases the pain of your loss<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-add-space: auto;"><span style="font-family: Skia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">And day after day<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-add-space: auto;"><span style="font-family: Skia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">I wish I could go back <o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 1.0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-add-space: auto;"><span style="font-family: Skia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;"> back to two years ago<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 1.0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-add-space: auto; text-indent: .5in;"><span style="font-family: Skia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;"> To protect myself from who I am today<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: Skia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">Because now, it’s as if I<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 1.0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; text-indent: .5in;"><span style="font-family: Skia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;"> see with only one eye<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 1.0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; text-indent: .5in;"><span style="font-family: Skia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;"> breathe with only one lung<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 1.0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; text-indent: .5in;"><span style="font-family: Skia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;"> feel with only half my heart<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: Skia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">I am only half here<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="font-family: Skia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">I am only half gone</span></span><o:p></o:p></span></div>The New Simonshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04047152574363664826noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-126131093430356896.post-84836230407342023642010-10-12T16:54:00.000-07:002010-10-12T16:54:31.075-07:00Blobity blob.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbukopb05R5gKLD2cQS5BL4sqQ2L_HFzWw8xQmKUVt_mHIAipZ0i_ZvSrvDcEd4ihSOIHEsA0goSC5mV6EAnuMkYn4-y-Cvg7tuh5GmXMmWKAkxJCh8GJDzYduEsy6Dkg1o_kGczSg65Ck/s1600/blob.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbukopb05R5gKLD2cQS5BL4sqQ2L_HFzWw8xQmKUVt_mHIAipZ0i_ZvSrvDcEd4ihSOIHEsA0goSC5mV6EAnuMkYn4-y-Cvg7tuh5GmXMmWKAkxJCh8GJDzYduEsy6Dkg1o_kGczSg65Ck/s320/blob.jpg" width="320" /></span></span></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">Ach. I just feel like such a blob. Like a large vat of pink, blobby jello. I can barely make it up the stairs. I feel really useless. Screw teaching, screw research, screw cleaning the house. All I wanna do is eat, sleep and mope! Blahhhhhhh.</span></span></div>The New Simonshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04047152574363664826noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-126131093430356896.post-67805826667707004732010-10-10T17:08:00.000-07:002010-10-10T17:08:15.746-07:00It's all good.<div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">I'm feeling really tired again lately. Maybe lethargic sums it up better. I finished up my teaching over the last two weeks and it seems that now, since I have a bit of free time, my past insomnia is hitting me like a ton of bricks. It's OK though, as I have a week to recoup before I start teaching again. </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">Things have been going well, luckily. I had a bit of a scare the other day because I couldn't comprehend what I was seeing on the monitor (continual acceleration in heart rate up to 195 for about 10 minutes), but I had it explained to me by two very competent doctors, so I'm relieved. Originally, I believed the monitoring was stressing me out more (due to episodes such as the above), but I now realize that it's actually allowing me to sleep more soundly (and less fitfully). </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">I had my two ultrasounds and NST on Friday. The baby is in the head down position and the cord is only between her legs. She has been having a few, very mild cord compressions, but nothing compared to what it was when the cord was draped around her neck. I'm hoping that she stays head down so she doesn't create any new loops. I'm currently 31 weeks, which means that I get my steroid shots next week (32 weeks). </span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhvqHk_4F45ZkHvrRlgixWim0u8hVnlzW8LRuiDEQmPJWCPGAVG4U7MVPKe0fXrFSPOvfCyi9eX-0crC40qauUgwIvikJbjpPII73IeQN3RPjAsSoujQTwpywrgKe_mTeYclmT3WxLrLKM/s1600/30+wks.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhvqHk_4F45ZkHvrRlgixWim0u8hVnlzW8LRuiDEQmPJWCPGAVG4U7MVPKe0fXrFSPOvfCyi9eX-0crC40qauUgwIvikJbjpPII73IeQN3RPjAsSoujQTwpywrgKe_mTeYclmT3WxLrLKM/s320/30+wks.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: 17px;">I'm thrilled. I'm still taking things day by day, but it seems to be going more quickly now. I can't wait to have her healthy and alive in my arms. Let's see if I can make it to 37 weeks.</span></div>The New Simonshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04047152574363664826noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-126131093430356896.post-28505102333762398622010-10-04T11:40:00.000-07:002010-10-04T11:40:36.250-07:00A break from all the negativity<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyYBmw5Rkgpis61WR4gtdnyvR5SbthL4slWzsuKrJwT3PCQBHs-fevh_4O7KsMTSiKsCXSIowRJR37FPyOCy6EaVogb9YKsEnfLFUX9hfplfjcTvRU6qmRzxDjBgxMpHo_FD6pBJpoK1Yw/s1600/Ki-hanja.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyYBmw5Rkgpis61WR4gtdnyvR5SbthL4slWzsuKrJwT3PCQBHs-fevh_4O7KsMTSiKsCXSIowRJR37FPyOCy6EaVogb9YKsEnfLFUX9hfplfjcTvRU6qmRzxDjBgxMpHo_FD6pBJpoK1Yw/s1600/Ki-hanja.png" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">I've been feeling pretty good the last few days. I was told that the nuchal cord around this baby girl's neck has been resolved, for the time being at least, so I'm not currently having cord compressions during monitoring (although the cord is still between her legs). I really hope it stays this way. Dr Collins did say though, that the critical time is 32 weeks where she goes into the head down position. We shall see. I'm attempting to stay positive.</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">I've also been really distracted with teaching over the last week and will continue to be until mid November. I've been going full force: Mondays to Thursdays 12-5.30pm, and on Fridays, I have my standing doctors appointments. I find that this distraction is beneficial to my sanity, and I'm still able to pay attention to the baby's movements during the day. So, yea, things are looking on the up and up. I've been reflecting on the concept of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Qi">chi/qi</a> lately: "with our energy, emotions, intentions, we can directly influence our environment", and trying to incorporate it into my everyday on-goings. I think it's working for me.</span></span></div>The New Simonshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04047152574363664826noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-126131093430356896.post-2957176399469257692010-10-01T15:37:00.000-07:002010-10-01T15:42:49.514-07:00Non-stress testing is so stressful<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">I started my non-stress testing today at the peri's office. It's pretty much exactly like the home monitoring I do at night, except she also does an ultrasound to look at amniotic fluid levels. I asked her to look at the cord as well (which is what I care about the most). Long story short, the nurse seems not to know her ass from her elbow. She attempted to evade my questioning with smiles and positivity. I let her off easy. This time. I feel so frustrated. Silly me. I thought I'd get more comfort from these weekly tests. I can't seem to catch a break. Or maybe my expectations of the medical community are just too high. Whatever it is, I'm so tired. </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;"><br />
</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">*</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: 17px;">On a positive note, I've been feeling kinda sexy lately. Sexy at 30 and at 30 weeks. I'm trying to come up with one positive thing a day, however small. Here's mine for last week and for next: sexiness. Check me out. Bow chicka bow wow.</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgONz83BYhg1ongXyNdUAKeHwF0DZZ9Vp2F0J41t1FinsItqtn5JrsjnA71JRUz9zFxFmZBLG5IYqr3TdI_LWtRuOFKa2vb7TbRCL4L_BlUPhRsE4r-_uHX2bz_M8W0bhaTCLD5_EnxYGNI/s1600/IMG_0770.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgONz83BYhg1ongXyNdUAKeHwF0DZZ9Vp2F0J41t1FinsItqtn5JrsjnA71JRUz9zFxFmZBLG5IYqr3TdI_LWtRuOFKa2vb7TbRCL4L_BlUPhRsE4r-_uHX2bz_M8W0bhaTCLD5_EnxYGNI/s320/IMG_0770.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>The New Simonshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04047152574363664826noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-126131093430356896.post-86194626055304119562010-09-26T10:53:00.000-07:002010-09-26T10:54:47.622-07:00Peri schmeri, who needs em?!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOeVb3lXbIOY1dPUypZM3n12B1PDzPR9yJg1Cnt9xuWCaymPpOOKHvwcXDjok2BFycw7conPTKfou5-59V5ql5cail6nFb6DDvV2SKl8YAoJXheyaDmHMNLn_7gWBeHVFqSxGpMd9R18Bw/s1600/quack_small.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOeVb3lXbIOY1dPUypZM3n12B1PDzPR9yJg1Cnt9xuWCaymPpOOKHvwcXDjok2BFycw7conPTKfou5-59V5ql5cail6nFb6DDvV2SKl8YAoJXheyaDmHMNLn_7gWBeHVFqSxGpMd9R18Bw/s1600/quack_small.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">My Friday appointment with the peri was ridiculous. I feel like every time I get information from one OB, it's completely contradicted by another. It leads me to believe that, instead of being lead by fact, they are simply being lead by opinion. Some OBs are just stuck in their ways, won't venture outside the box, or are too lazy to keep up with current research. Blah. I've had it. </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">Nevertheless, I feel compelled to share a little about some of the things my peri was saying while at the appointment. And for the record, I will also say that I came into the appointment under the pretense of decreased fetal movement due to cord entanglement (which I said for billing purposes only, although she is entangled in her cord).... well, they kept me waiting in the lobby for over an hour. Now what does that tell you? At any rate, doc wasn't surprised to see me. I think I give him so much grief at every appointment, that he just expects my visits once a week. One of the reasons I am able to give him so much grief is because I'm not one of those acquiescent, naive moms who takes everything he says as kosher. I'm a PhD student in Biology, so I know what research is and how it's conducted. He can't be blowing smoke up my maternity shorts. </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">The appointment started off as it typically does- I relayed my worry about the cord being wrapped around the baby, said she's having decreased movements, he starts the ultrasound, confirms where the cord is (same place as Dr Collins found it), and then launches into his well rehearsed speech about how everything I'm seeing and feeling (regarding cord stuff) is normal. "The cord can't be floating in front of the baby the entire pregnancy", "The cord placement is totally normal- we see it draped over the baby's neck and between the baby's legs all the time", "The so called cord compressions you speak of are normal in every pregnancy- they aren't cord compressions, rather the reaction of the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system to a halt in movement".... I had made the mistake of telling him that I flew to Louisiana to meet with Dr Collins, who has been studying cord accidents for over 20 years, in order to start the home monitoring. He called Dr Collins a "quack", "not a real OB", the list goes on. I couldn't believe the statements that were coming out of his mouth. I even photocopied all of the paperwork Dr Collins gave me regarding cord pathology, but the peri refused to take it from me. I went into his office and left it on his desk, telling him that he needed to look Dr Collins's Pregnancy Institute website up and read all of his peer-reviewed studies. He ended the conversation by saying, "any quack can have a website".</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">That was enough for one day. I felt like I was leaving the circus. I did march on up to reception though and make weekly appointments for non-stress tests and 2D ultrasounds for the next 5 weeks. I will also be getting my steroid shots and an amnio before 36 weeks. I will have this live, healthy baby in my arms, even if I have to personally mow down the entire OB community to get my way. Ain't nobody gonna hold me down.</span></span></div>The New Simonshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04047152574363664826noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-126131093430356896.post-52261517296305215452010-09-22T13:00:00.000-07:002010-09-26T10:57:07.734-07:00If he says no, just come to me.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">I had a great appointment with my OB this morning. Essentially, she said that if my perinatologist won't do something I think I need to have (for example, a non-stress test before 32 weeks), we will go around him. "If he says no, just come to me"--sweetest sound to my ears. She's willing to do it all- NSTs whenever I want, checking me into the hospital for as long as I want, giving me steroids to help mature the baby's lungs, giving me an amnio at 32 weeks to check lung maturity, helping me go into labor... she's so freaking awesome. I also got my husband to call that administrator and get the DL on my account info and *exactly* how to use the home monitor.</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">Ah. I've momentarily been put as ease. I can breathe. Thank goodness. I was ready to check myself into the loony bin.</span></span>The New Simonshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04047152574363664826noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-126131093430356896.post-34555992334679906962010-09-21T23:47:00.000-07:002010-09-26T10:57:43.199-07:00Quick update<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLA2a0P5FmvRadUaF-Qru4AiOhT_NDO434hcjFgsmaTzAgcWssjkZeSRsdvK6S_lpbhdXjvHLWkcx-Itwt80FSzXQjFKrU17kXpCpk6boNvY8pnNsWzSo9kOzAblx-31TyYYnBoC6JKNoZ/s1600/Picture+1.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLA2a0P5FmvRadUaF-Qru4AiOhT_NDO434hcjFgsmaTzAgcWssjkZeSRsdvK6S_lpbhdXjvHLWkcx-Itwt80FSzXQjFKrU17kXpCpk6boNvY8pnNsWzSo9kOzAblx-31TyYYnBoC6JKNoZ/s320/Picture+1.png" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">I've been battling with this home monitor since Sunday afternoon. Dr Collins said it would take a week or so to get it 'working smoothly', and I had no idea what he meant (how hard could it be?!) until I actually tried to transmit a file. Problems I've encountered thus far: not having a landline to hook the modem up to (who runs things through landlines nowadays?), keeping a consistent heart rate with that huge probe doppler thing (it's pretty clumsy for a hospital grade piece of medical equipment), not being able to track down the administrator that sets up my account (he's so damn elusive!), not being able to transmit the files properly (why is the machine shutting off and turning back on by itself?), not being able to login to my account (is it even set up yet?)... blah, blah, blah. </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">Nonetheless, there are two pieces of good/decent news: 1) I must have done something right with the transmission (after having multiple tantrums and frustration cries) because Dr Collins was able to successfully view my first strip (although he didn't get the text message alert notifying him that I have uploaded a strip- administrator, where are you?) and, 2) the baby's heart rate sounded good. She continues to have some cord compression (so it's somewhere on her body), but Dr Collins does not consider them 'decelerations' per say. I guess I have to relish the good news, even if they are just minor things. Man, I think I need a glass of wine....</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia; font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">N.B. This is not my strip (cos I can't access mine right now!). This strip shows a major deceleration and would require delivery.</span></span></div>The New Simonshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04047152574363664826noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-126131093430356896.post-90754933510115892142010-09-19T20:28:00.001-07:002010-09-26T10:58:07.192-07:00It's official. Thank G-d for Dr Collins.<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #666666; font-family: 'Lucida Grande'; font-size: 11px; margin-bottom: 0in;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjD_hnniDNIFuhb89gRqr1kkKToRtOAYcV3QqN9ofoyBMFL9W2uULno1n77dQ53r8nLbPA05xswQHjIzqWn-9MNQ9B7dK6DwG1DdFysN76iX9c2g7dmkkWMncdWI4V-9j5gzJ_NJABc6H6r/s1600/Picture+1.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjD_hnniDNIFuhb89gRqr1kkKToRtOAYcV3QqN9ofoyBMFL9W2uULno1n77dQ53r8nLbPA05xswQHjIzqWn-9MNQ9B7dK6DwG1DdFysN76iX9c2g7dmkkWMncdWI4V-9j5gzJ_NJABc6H6r/s320/Picture+1.png" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Skia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">Well, it's official. Officially sad and tragic actually. Cord issues </span></span><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">DO</span></span></u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;"> recur in subsequent pregnancies. I'm living proof (amongst the other 1200 women who've been studied!). For those of you who aren't aware, my beautiful and flawless daughter, Shiloh, was born sleeping at 39 weeks, 5 days gestation due to an umbilical cord accident in Oct 2008. The cord was wrapped so tightly once around her neck (nuchal cord) and once around her body (body loop) that my OB couldn't even slide her fingers underneath it to free Shiloh after she was born. Her arms and neck were indented from the pressure of the very organ that was meant to sustain her life in utero. How ironic. *As I write this, tears are streaming down my face. Did this really happen to my daughter?* I miss her terribly.</span></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #666666; font-family: 'Lucida Grande'; font-size: 11px; margin-bottom: 0in;"><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #666666; font-family: 'Lucida Grande'; font-size: 11px; margin-bottom: 0in;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Skia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">Now, I'm pregnant with number 2. A little sister for Shiloh. I only wish she were here to experience it. I've been conflicted the entire 28 weeks. I'm scared out of my mind (which I previously thought was unsubstantiated, but due to prior experience). I wake up 5 times a night to make sure she hasn't passed away during my sleep. I freak out and think the worst if she is moving too much or too 'hard'. I contemplate running to the hospital every time she has the hiccups (yes- hiccups are ONLY related to cord compression. If your baby has hiccups, the cord IS being compressed one way or another, at least at certain times). Sometimes, when I'm really deluded, I even think this baby is Shiloh, that I've been given another chance with her (I haven't told ANYONE this before, and I feel awful just saying it). Yes. I'm a full-blown nut job and it's starting to wear thin on my being.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #666666; font-family: 'Lucida Grande'; font-size: 11px; margin-bottom: 0in;"><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #666666; font-family: 'Lucida Grande'; font-size: 11px; margin-bottom: 0in;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Skia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">But the point of this post is actually to write about my appointment with Dr Collins. I just returned from my trip to Louisiana (a few hours ago!) to meet with Dr Collins regarding the home monitoring for this baby. He is such a passionate, caring man and one that truly wants to rid the world of unnecessary infant death. So, he gave me an ultrasound and hooked me up to the monitor for 30 minutes to check the baby's heart rate and to see if I am having contractions. I'll just get to the point- he confirmed my worst fears. There is cord compression (the baby has been having hiccups 2-3 times per day for 5-10 minutes each for the last 2 weeks) and she’s even having minor decelerations. The cord is possibly being compressed in one or all of three different places. Right now, it is between her legs, around her back and draped over her neck. It's not 360 degrees around any body part, but it's enough to cause her to lay on it or squeeze it at certain times. Now, the decelerations are only 10-30% and she only had 10 in 30 minutes, so he says the baby is ok for the moment, but if it gets worse- 50% and 30 in 30 minutes- I need to deliver. He wants me to get weekly, high-resolution ultrasounds to see what the cord is doing. So my fears are substantiated and now I'm beyond terrified. I want to get this baby out now. A.L.I.V.E. <o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #666666; font-family: 'Lucida Grande'; font-size: 11px; margin-bottom: 0in;"><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #666666; font-family: 'Lucida Grande'; font-size: 11px;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Skia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">My OB is totally on board with whatever I want to do, but my perinatologist (who has the high resolution U/S) is not. I had to jump through hoops at 25 weeks to get him to do another U/S to check where the cord was. I begged him to start the non-stress testing at 32 weeks, instead of 34 (which was a compromise- I wanted to start at 30). He believes that the published work on stillbirth is not peer reviewed and has a biased population. He doesn't believe that cord accidents recur and doesn't make an effort to read the available literature (of which there is plenty, which has been peer reviewed by over 30 medical academics, thank you Dr Collins). I'm über-worried because I know he's going to resist when I tell him I need weekly ultrasounds. I feel a tiny bit confident that I will have the home monitor to fall back on for more accurate self-interpretation, but I'm still scared out of my mind. I need the support of these OBs and the hospital, not for them to put up a force field, and I hate that I have to singularly be so damn proactive. Doesn’t everyone want a baby to be born alive if its demise can easily be prevented? I’ll never understand how ignorance can be blissful for the medical community.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #666666; font-family: 'Lucida Grande'; font-size: 11px;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Skia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;"><br />
</span></span></span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="color: #666666; font-family: 'Lucida Grande'; font-size: 11px;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Skia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 17px;">To be continued….</span></span></span></div></div>The New Simonshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04047152574363664826noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-126131093430356896.post-56418897655843412572010-09-05T11:38:00.000-07:002010-09-05T11:38:01.644-07:00LoveLE Maternity Photos<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande'; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 11px;"> <!--StartFragment--> <div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Skia; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Trebuchet MS";">My 'LoveLE' friend, Autumn, an aspiring maternity photographer, took some <a href="http://lovelephotographic.blogspot.com/2010/09/rachel-maternity-25-weeks.html"><span style="color: #0018ea; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">maternity photos</span></a> of me last week (25 weeks). Here are a few for your viewing pleasure.</span><span style="font-family: Skia;"><o:p></o:p></span></div><!--EndFragment--> </span></span><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dz1iL_hZAYUxUQ6d-rmRpog-QCYavvK6bfHMq2ZOEKIhidF2XZoTA_PgaHCvvqbqEiJ_DkTLZsYkOM4_A1r4g' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>The New Simonshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04047152574363664826noreply@blogger.com1