Sunday, June 12, 2011

Shiloh Bear

A big thank you to the wonderful angel mamas at Molly Bears. I finally got my Shiloh Bear last month after having waited for over a year. She weighs exactly what Shiloh weighed when she was born- 6lbs, 5 oz. Feeling her weight in my arms again brought me to tears. No surprise there. When I had Shalom, I thought I was going to be so distracted that I wouldn't have time to cry and to think about all the things that I was missing out on with Shiloh. How wrong I was. I find myself crying quite a bit lately (it's gotten easier to push the pain away, so I haven't allowed myself to cry as much over the last 2 years) and of course, I still think about her constantly. There isn't a day that goes by where she isn't in some small way, incorporated into my thoughts or 'functions'. Is it possible to miss her even more? I hadn't thought so until now...

I love this photo of Shalom sleeping with her hand on Shiloh Bear. I just wish it were the real thing.