Tuesday, August 11, 2009


Today’s an angry day
Today I hate the world
Nothing you say matters
I’ve lost my little girl

I don’t wanna hear your gossip
I don’t wanna hear your problems
Unlike my trials and tribulations
There’s a way for you to solve ‘em

I don’t wanna eat right now
No, I won’t drink that water either
Just let me stew alone for once
To come out of this damn ether

I don’t care that it’s a beautiful day
I don’t wanna walk outside
I just want to lie in my dark room
All I wanna do is hide

It will not be ok
I’m not going to move on
You should think before you talk
‘Cos all your saying’s wrong

I don’t have to give it time
It’s not going to get better
Don’t say she’s in a happier place
You’ve never even met her

It didn’t happen for a reason
There’s nothing learned from this
Don’t you see it’s taking everything
Just to make sure I persist

I didn’t lose a parent or sibling
So don’t compare your loss
For you to claim it is the same
Makes me so damn cross

I didn’t ask your opinion
I don’t care about your feelings
Even though it’s been 10 months
I find myself still reeling

Don’t be mad at me
‘Cos I won’t listen to your crap
I’ve got this constant struggle
To wiggle out of this damn trap

Away with your pregnant belly
Don’t rub your babies in my face
Don’t gloat about your pregnancy
I might put you in your place

I told you I was angry
I warned you from the start
It’s hard to be a childless mother
To live life with a shattered heart

Note: This poem came from that dark place lingering inside of me. It’s a good thing I only let it out constructively! For those reading this who have never experienced the loss of a child, please don’t take it personally. I know I need to live life by making small talk, gossiping, connecting with people, in short, dealing with the facets of everyday life. But there are times, like today, in which it feels too mundane. Enter poetry.


Emily said...

This is a powerful poem.

i am glad you are finding healthy ways to express your anger and really feel these things you SHOULD be feeling. Too many ppl suck it all in and are too afraid to face their feelings...but anger is a powerful messenger and not bad.

Your honesty is bold and impressive. that cloud picture is scary

Once A Mother said...

i think all of these poems are such a wonderful way for you to outlet the pain. Our losses are different, my daughter was 28 days old when she passed, but the emotions are the same. Sending you prayers for peace in your heart.