Sunday, June 12, 2011

Shiloh Bear

A big thank you to the wonderful angel mamas at Molly Bears. I finally got my Shiloh Bear last month after having waited for over a year. She weighs exactly what Shiloh weighed when she was born- 6lbs, 5 oz. Feeling her weight in my arms again brought me to tears. No surprise there. When I had Shalom, I thought I was going to be so distracted that I wouldn't have time to cry and to think about all the things that I was missing out on with Shiloh. How wrong I was. I find myself crying quite a bit lately (it's gotten easier to push the pain away, so I haven't allowed myself to cry as much over the last 2 years) and of course, I still think about her constantly. There isn't a day that goes by where she isn't in some small way, incorporated into my thoughts or 'functions'. Is it possible to miss her even more? I hadn't thought so until now...

I love this photo of Shalom sleeping with her hand on Shiloh Bear. I just wish it were the real thing.

3 comments:

Annie said...

What a sweet picture! I love the idea behind Molly bears. So glad you were able to get one in memory of Shiloh.

cambodia-travel said...

Make miss my son even he's not come out to the world yet....

Great post!

Jordan Miller said...

idk how i just came across this, i think i was just looking up things on google and found your blog. i wasnt quite sure how to message you but i have almost the exact story as you do. august 26th, 2010 was my due date and she had been moving the day before, when i go in for my last check up i find out that she had died. i then had her the next morning. and now i am 35 weeks pregnant with my second child who is also a girl and from the 3D ultrasound looks JUST like naomi did. im so glad i found someone who has such a similar story :)