Monday, December 29, 2008

Letter to Shiloh #5

A few weeks ago, Daddy and I hung up a star for you at Light Up A Life. Your star was the most beautiful- we put your photo on the front; ah, how gorgeous you are.

It was so hard to contain our emotions, so we let the pain wash over us. Crying, of course, came naturally and was a welcomed release. We still cannot believe that you are gone forever, Shiloh. It’s so damn final and I hate that we can do nothing but accept it.

It has been a tormenting 9 weeks and the pain does not seem to subside. For every week that passes I think about how old you would be and what you would be doing by now. You would be lifting your head, looking at me, smiling, cooing… doing cute baby things.

The apartment feels so empty without you. Even though you never came home with us after you were born, we are surrounded by your belongings and consumed by the memories of when you were alive, inside of me. Those memories are still so vivid and I cherish each and every one of them. And I promise you Shiloh, you will always be remembered, not only by me and by daddy, but also by family, friends and even strangers. Your brief life has touched so many other lives and we are so very proud of you.