Monday, June 8, 2009

Six Long Months

This poem was written by a friend of mine, Allison Spangenberg, who lost her son Christian to an umbilical cord accident on Dec 18, 2008.

In her email she says, “It has almost been six long months since Christian passed away. I am very angry today, and I guess this poem comes from that place, as all of us mother's can understand the stupid things that people say, and I just needed to let it out in a constructive way, without committing homicide. LOL. I am just sick of it, that's all.”

I am posting this because, not only do I think the poem is beautiful, but I can also totally relate to it....

Six long months,
I am told to move on.
I am told to forget,
I am told to be strong.

I am grieving my child,
I am still at square one,
I am counting the days,
will this ever be done?

People forget,
and want to ignore,
they want to pretend
I don't have this chore.

I never wanted this life,
such pain I can't bear.
Life dealt me a hand,
without any care.

The burden is heavy,
I hope I can mend.
And time still ticks on,
It is not my friend.

I cannot resolve
the fact that you're gone.
This isn't the way,
life is so wrong.

I should be so lucky?
A mother to an angel?
Their stupid words,
I wish I could strangle!

Or life will go on,
you can always have more!
But what about the child
I love and adore?!

It wasn't meant to be,
or your child is in heaven,
or it happened for a reason,
at least he wasn't seven!...

People speak and say
the stupidest things.
That God had a plan,
that my angel grew wings.

How does this help
ease all my pain?
His life had a purpose
their words are insane.

Six long months
since you said goodbye.
I am still bereft,
why did you have to die?

No one understands,
our life- it crashes-
so lucky for them,
their rose colored glasses...

By: Allison S.- Christian's mommy
I love you baby boy.... kisses to the sky angel boy....

Monday, June 1, 2009

Seven Months

Seven long months have gone by
Since you’ve left me, I just cry
Your face so vivid- this will never change
Anything about you, I could never estrange
Thinking about you, now, I can have a bit of joy
But this joy is certainly no decoy
Because the pain is still so damn strong
Living without you will always be wrong
But I choose to carry on
With hopes of more children not forgone
I pray so very hard, day after day
For your siblings to come my way
So I can tell them all about you
Perfection, beauty, love- your virtues